My body is my guide, my mentor, my friend and my deepest connection to the aliveness of my soul. However it hasn’t always been this way. When I think back to the earliest days of my life my body was my tormentor, my enemy and something that I felt ashamed to live in. I didn’t want the body I had because this body caused me pain. It made me feel embarrassed and ashamed. It wasn’t as slim or as ”perfect” as other bodies I saw. It didn’t run very fast, it needed extra size clothing to cover it and it didn’t behave in the way that I thought it should. The body I lived in back then got bullied. It was called names that no body should ever be called. It didn’t seem to fit in no matter how hard I tried to force it to comply with what I saw as the “right” body. And yet this body was mine. This is the body I was born with and no matter what I did or didn’t do my body was with me for the rest of my life. Somewhere in the deepest recesses of my soul, I knew that I would have to try and find a way to make peace with this body so that we could live together and not constantly be at war. Being at war with yourself in any way is tough because it’s a battle you can’t win. When it’s just you and you, there has to be a compromise, a truce and a solution that makes you both victorious! And so my own search began. I scoured the magazines and all the self-help books for ways in which I could find peace within my bones. I went to the workshops, did the courses and endlessly tried to fall in love with my body. I studied and became a body confidence expert. My body was guiding me to seek out those hidden pathways that had previously shied away from me, always just out of reach.
The windmills of your mind
And in my body love quest, I came to see and understand that my body was always talking to me. In my body’s subtle way it had always been teaching me how to love it, care for it, nurture it and enjoy it. However, when you are caught up in the repeating circles of your mind, it’s hard for the body’s wisdom to get through. The more my mind “moved” in with its plans and goals, the more my body moved out. It seemed the more effort and “work” I put into trying to love my body, the further apart I felt from it. My mind was the boss, however what I didn’t realise at the time was this boss was really a scared five year old who was trying to run the show.
Our subconscious minds are so powerful and they run approximately 95% of everything we do: all of our old patterns, behaviours and habits exist within the subconscious mind. This can be a great thing when those habits and learned patterns are positive and supportive. However, when they are predominantly fear based or self-limiting they can wreak havoc with your joy, vitality and confidence.
Move into the path of least resistance.
Learning to fall in love with my body, my life and who I am has been more of a series of gentle unfolding, rather than a quantum transformational leap. The body bliss I had been seeking came to me slowly and uncertainly at first. As if my body was testing the waters. “Is it safe here?” My body wanted to know if I could be trusted with its sweet and precious wisdom, its vulnerability and its pain. If I had suddenly been transformed overnight I would not have been sure that I could maintain the love that I now feel and the care that I now give. Like any powerful and solid relationship, the one with our bodies is built on the same foundations. Trust, getting to know each other, going back and forth, learning the language of love and being able to listen deeply, actively and passionately with interest. The more I kept showing up for my body and being kind and compassionate, the more my body bloomed. The more I relaxed into the moment, especially when that moment wasn’t as I would have desired it to be, the more I became aware of a bigger picture in my life. My body wasn’t about being a certain size or shape. It wasn’t about being a perfect replica of the images I had hungered over in the magazines. No, It was about being the place where I could experience the greatest living a body has to offer. It was about being alive whilst I was alive. It was about connection, expression and showing love to every other body I encountered. Ultimately, it was about authenticity and integrity. It was about being REAL and feeling FREE to unlock my magic from my bones, to dance in the sunlight and pour my radiance out through every cell in my entire being.
When we stop resisting the shape of our days, along with the shape of our body, something rather magical happens. Life begins to guide us “home”. Home to the beating of our hearts desires and the windswept blossoms of our time on this earth. Home to the majesty and wonder of who we truly are. Without a body none of this can happen. Without our skin we have no container to hold the soul safely, snuggled warm and deep within the body’s loving embrace. Without the journey we have no path. Without a path there is no destination. Without a destination there is no purpose. Without a purpose there is no passion. Without passion there is no joy, movement or fulfillment. Without joy, movement and fulfillment there is no energy. And without energy, there is no life.
When you love your body you allow your soul to be made visible. And that’s all that every soul desires; to be seen, cherished, loved and valued throughout its precious time on this earth and beyond.